Silence. Thank You. These are the two-Gifts God has granted me the grace to embrace. People often ask me; or, say to me: “How can I recover? Give me some real things; things you have used or watched others use, that I can use to recover. I am TIRED OF HURTING! I WANT TO RECOVER.” And, what most often comes to mind are my; THANK God, default settings: silence and thank you. My practice, now, no matter what; especially if I feel some type of deep pain, is to quiet myself. I sit; get, still. This can be challenging, since feeling pain-(any type: emotional or physical)- is what I have struggled with and fought against, for a lifetime. To do this, I center myself within the breath. What I mean, by this, is that I actually “watch my breath.” Each and every time I breathe in and out, I center myself in that breath; and, watch as my breath comes into my body and watch as that breath goes out (leaves) my body. And, the accompanying affirmation each in and out breath are the words “Thank You.”
The gift of feeling the Presence of God; peace, then becomes my State of Being. In this Silence I can Hear God. Questions that need to be answered, plans for the day that need to be made, can then be developed with my ear fastened to the heart of God. I have noticed that the answers and plans are invariably very simple and straightforward. That’s one of the ways “I know” they are from God rather than from the, human; in a panicky state, me. Many times, these instructions from God, are “simple but not easy,” a term used by our 12 Step Community; such as, Alcoholics Anonymous. Once given these instructions, I have learned that many times I must break the doing into teeny tiny steps to complete. I can manage 1-step at a time. I can do 1-teeny tiny thing at a time. In this way, God can dissolve-(Step-by-Step)- the fear that has my stomach in a knot and seems so overwhelming and powerful. And, so, on This Morning, the eve of the anniversary of my Son’s death, “breathing in I calm my body…breathing out I Let go fear.” In doing this, my friends, I am Reminded by God, that there is no need for a drink to calm my nerves; no need for a nerve pill to calm my nerves; no need for that extra-bit/portion of food to calm my nerves; and, no need for that co-dependent behavior to keep me from addressing my own issues. Indeed, there is no need for any other outside of myself thing. For you see, I have been blessed with the Knowledge that God Is within, within in me; within each and every breath that I breathe. Silence. Recovery. Thank You.